I Was Mary, Now I'm Hedwig
by Hedwig-guardian and friend
Summary: My name is Mary Macdonald I was Lily Evans' best friend, Sirius' lover, and Harry Potter's godmother. Now, however, I am Hedwig, pet, friend, and guardian of Harry Potter, the boy who lived. (If you would like to see this story continue please let me know. I do my best to follow the books exactly) And of course, I own nothing but my ideas.


**July 15th 1991**

My name is Mary Macdonald and this is my story.

My story begins in Professor Dumbledore's office. I had no idea why he called me here, but it sounded extremely important.

As I glanced around Dumbledore's office and noticed how still the room is; as if holding its breath, waiting. Every portrait was empty. I had never seen it like that before.

I've been here many times before, of course, what with being friends with the Marauders and a member of The Order of the Phoenix, but never had I seen every single portrait empty. He must have told them all to leave.

A soft cough interrupted my thoughts and I looked up.

"Miss Macdonald, welcome. Please sit," Professor Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling.

As I sat, he straightened, "Miss Macdonald, do you know why you are here," he asked.

"No, Professor," I replied, trying my best to look calm.

"Good," he stated, "and please, call me Albus, for after today we will, hopefully, be partners."

He must have seen the confusion on my face because he elaborated, "You see, the reason you are here is because I need you, well, not me exactly, but Harry."

I straightened, every part of my body alert. Harry, Harry Potter, my godson.

"What's happened? Is he alright? Albus, please say he's alright. He-"

"He is fine Mary, perfectly fine. As you know, he turns eleven soon," he said, calming me, a small smile touching his lips.

"Then what is it," I asked coldly, still upset about his decision to keep me away from him.

"I would like you, that is to say I need you, to help me keep him safe."

"That is all I have ever wanted to do. Whatever you need from me, I'll do it."

"Yes, I thought you would say that, but what I am about to ask of you is more than anyone should ever ask from anyone."

He paused; I looked up, bewildered.

"I have come up with a plan, a plan to ensure Harry's safety. You are, of course, an animagus," he enquired, eyes twinkling again.

"I- How- How did you know that, I'm unregistered," I sputtered guiltily.

"Don't worry, my dear, it doesn't matter, your secret is safe with me," He chuckled, before becoming more serious, "In fact, it is impertinent that it stays a secret. If you agree to do this, no one can ever know."

"Professor Dumbledore, I mean, Albus, I'm not being rude or anything, but, can you please get to the point," I asked, impatience making me show my Gryffindor tendencies.

"Yes, sorry, of course," he started, "Mary, I am asking you to give up your life, your human life, and assume your owl form to become Harry's pet."

"I know, I know that sounds a bit strange," he said before I can even form a sentence, "but hear me out, please."

"As Harry's pet, you will be able to keep watch over him, keep him safe, I, of course, have someone watching over him now, but once he enters the wizarding world he will need more protection. As of now, I have a friend of mine keeping an eye on him, a squib, but that soon will not be enough. You are Harry's rightful guardian, his godmother, and he will need you by his side," Dumbledore finished.

I stared at him blankly for a second, blink, and then said, "I'll do it."

Dumbledore gave me a sad smile, "Good," he said, "You are the only one who can."

After pausing to let it all sink in, he continued, "Now, I am sorry, but you are going to have to die."

I spluttered, "What? But you just said-"

He laughed, "Sorry, just having a bit of fun, you won't actually die, of course. Everyone will just believe you did. No one can now about what we are doing; for your safety, and for Harry's. Do you understand?"

I took a minute to think back on my life, would I be able to give it all up, at a drop of a hat?

I haven't been the same since Sirius got put away. I lost my best friend, Lily, and the love of my life, Sirius.

I lost everything that night, almost everything, I reminded myself. I didn't lose Harry; no that happened the next day, when Albus made me swear not to look for him.

He said Harry would be safer there. He said I needed time to heal. But I couldn't heal; I couldn't even look at Remus without crying and he had been my friend for years.

Making up my mind, I said, "My life ended when Lily's did."

Dumbledore nodded sadly, "Yes, I am so sorry for that, but this is your chance to do what you promised."

"Yeah," I paused, "so when do I start?"

Dumbledore chuckled, "I have everything set, but we can't start just yet. You should get your things in order, but make sure no one finds out though; no one can know you are going to die. Do you understand?"

"Yes Professor, I understand," I said solemnly, nodding my head as I stood.

I left, setting out to get my life ready to end.

**July 20th 1991,**

Albus sent me a patronus today.

As I took a sip of my morning tea a silver phoenix landed in front of me.

I looked up and it whispered, "It's time," and vanished.

I stood slowly; I'd been waiting for this. I grabbed my wand and my coat then headed to the fireplace.

Throwing the floo powder into the fire I stepped in and said, "Hogwarts Headmaster's Office."

A minute later I stepped into his office.

"Mary," Dumbledore welcomed me warmly, "come, sit."

As I sat he continued, "Would you care for a lemon drop?"

After choosing the perfect candy from the jar in his out stretched hand we smiled at each other.

"Mary, Mary, Mary, you are one of a kind," he said as he put the candy away, "You will be missed dearly."

My eyes watered as I replied, "Thank you Albus, but I won't be gone. I'll be where I belong."

Then, lifting my chin, I asked, "So, how are we doing this?"

Taking a small, blood red bottle from a drawer he said, "You will drink this."

After handing it to me he continued, "This will kill you for exactly seven days."

As I turned the bottle in my hand, peering through the glass at the thick liquid, I asked, "Are you sure it will work properly?"

Eyes twinkling, Dumbledore said, "I'm positive, I made it myself, absolutely no one knows about this."

"Just checking," I said, blushing.

Dumbledore, laughing, said, "it's okay my dear, I would be suspicious too. Now, You are going to have to drink it here, you will then have exactly seven minutes to get home and place yourself where you are going to die. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I said, my voice trembled slightly.

"Take your time my dear, when you are ready," he soothed sadness showing in his face.

After a couple minutes of silent contemplation I lifted the bottle to the heavens and said, "This is for you, Lily Evans, I will take care of your son, just like I promised. I miss you."

A tear rolled down my cheek as I brought the bottle to my lips and drank. I tasted nothing, I felt nothing; it was as if I hadn't drunk anything at all. I turned to Dumbledore questioningly, he just smiled sadly and said, "It worked," He nodded toward the fireplace and said in a fake cheerful voice, "Go, get ready. Have a happy death."

I chuckled, it was just like him to try to make light of the situation. When I reached the fireplace I turned.

Saluting, I said smiling, "See you on the other side" as I stepped into the fireplace and spoke my destination I heard him chuckle.

I stepped out of my own fireplace and looked around, my apartment seemed strangely normal for what was about to happen.

I placed my coat back in the closet and put my wand on the kitchen counter. After looking around one last time, I sat down. I sat in the same chair I was in not an hour before and took a sip of my now cold tea.

With only a minute left I decided to place the _Daily Prophet_ on the table to make it look like I was reading it.

After making sure everything was perfect, I took one last sip of my tea, and died.

**July 27th, 1991**

I opened my eyes and looked around. I have never been here before. I remembered everything that had happened and checked to make sure I was okay.

I glanced around and noticed a newspaper clipping sitting on the table next to me.

It was my obituary. I folded it up without looking at it and put it in my pocket.

That's odd, I thought, I'm in the same clothes I died in.

I wondered if I was buried in them, that wouldn't make much sense.

As if I said it aloud Dumbledore who had just appeared in a doorway said, "I transfigured you clothes, I picked the last thing I saw you wearing, I figured it was better than the dress."

Standing up carefully, I asked, "Did it work?"

"Yes, it worked," he looked at me, "You are in my house, by the way," he said sensing the next question.

I nodded and he continued, "There are a few things that need to be taken care of, if you'd please follow me."

He led me to what he jokingly called his experimentation lab and had me sit on a stool. "I am going to put a few charms on you; they are to make sure that you stay healthy while living with Harry."

I looked at him, not understanding.

"In case you don't get enough to eat," he explained.

I still didn't understand, but before I could say anything he gave me a look that said 'be quiet and stay still.'

After hours of sitting, Albus finally finished.

The rest of my time at his house was spent preparing.

**July 29th 1991**

Walking into the kitchenette I yawned a "good morning" to Albus.

Looking up from the Daily Prophet he said, "Good morning, we have some business to take care of today."

I munched on my toast as he elaborated, "Hagrid will be the one giving you to Harry, I must explain a little bit of what is going on to him."

Sensing my confusion he said, "Now, we aren't telling him everything. He will not know that you are you. He will just know that you are a special owl that must be given to Harry."

"Okay," I said and took a sip of my tea.

An hour later I found myself perched next to Fawkes while Dumbledore explained things to Hagrid.

"Now, Hagrid, I have something I need you to do."

Gesturing to me he continued, "I need you to give Harry this owl, we still haven't been successful in reaching him with letters, so you are going to get him like we discussed last week, but when you are in Diagon Alley you need to pick up this owl and give it to Harry as a gift."

I really wanted to know why he wasn't getting the letters, but I was supposed to stay in my owl form.

"Sure Professor, but why yeh givin' 'im that one? 'sit special er somethin'?"

"Yes, it's quite special," Dumbledore said with twinkling eyes, "but Harry can't know that, no one can, understand?"

"Yeah, I got it, professor," Hagrid said standing a bit straighter.

"Good, you better get going to find Harry, I'll take care of the owl," said Dumbledore, as he showed Hagrid to the door.

After closing the door Dumbledore summoned a cage and helped me inside.

I hated this part of the plan.

To make sure everything went as planned Dumbledore decided to set everything up in advance.

He took me to Eeylops Owl Emporium and placed a memory charm on the manager to make him believe that I have been there a week and that I have already been sold to Mr. Rubius Hagrid and would be picked up on July 31st.

It worked and I waited.

**July 31st 1991**

This was the day. The day I got to meet my godson. I had been getting restless.

I didn't sleep a wink because of the owls next to me making a racket but, looking back on it, I guess that was a good thing. I needed to get on an owl's schedule anyway.

I needed to really **be** an owl. While waiting for Hagrid to arrive I studied the birds around me. I mimicked their actions and watched their reactions to different things. It all came pretty naturally which was kind of strange but good at the same time.

After hours of waiting I finally saw him. Hagrid's huge figure entered the store and following after him was a little boy with messy black hair.

I recognized him immediately.

The manager greeted them both and brought me to the counter.

"You paid me in advance so everything is set, here you go," the manager said, handing the cage to Hagrid.

"Thank yeh," Hagrid said as he handed the cage to Harry.

As we left the store I thought, "I used to hold him, and now he holds me."

After giving a small hoot I really looked at him. He had grown so much, but not quite as much as he should have and he looked amazingly like his father.

But the eyes; just like his mother's. I miss her so much. She was my best friend in school.

He took me with him into Ollivander's.

If anyone were to look closely at me while Mr. Ollivander told Harry about the peculiarities of his wand they would have seen streams of tears rolling down the feathers of my face.

Hearing the story and watching Harry experience this moment alone was heart breaking. I should have been there. He should know that he is loved.

Tears continued to fall throughout the experience, only stopping when they went back outside.

Exhausted and crying, I fell asleep.

**August 1991 **

After arriving back at number four Privet Drive it took me only a few minutes to decide that I hated the Dursleys.

The thought of Harry living with these monsters without anyone to comfort him for so long still makes me sick.

I did my best not to think about it but it was quite hard, being stuck in Harry's room all day with nothing to do.

I did enjoy Harry's company though.

I watched as Harry looked through his new textbooks and was startled out of thought when, suddenly, Harry looked up from his copy of _A History of Magic_ and said, "I think I'll name you Hedwig, how does that sound?"

I knew the name. Saint Hedwig of Andechs, a Duchess of Silesia was a witch from Germany. I couldn't recall what she did at the time but I remembered learning about her.

I gave Harry a small hoot of agreement.

As of that moment I was no longer Mary Macdonald; friend of Lily, lover of Sirius, and godmother of Harry. I became Hedwig; pet, friend, and guardian of Harry Potter, the boy who lived.


End file.
